INSIDE Day 3 - narrated by Vera Ion

vera ion, radu apostol

may 6 2014 bucharest I wake up with the sanziene (romanian name for gentle fairies who play an important part in local folklore , also used to designate the gallium velum flowers) in my head / there is something about them that I like sanzienele/ I have to get to the museum asap to sit in the space and write/ I get there by 11 am, I go directly upstairs, I hope nobody is there / last night I stayed there in the weaving mill in the armchair and I had such a strong feeling that what I see is something very feminine / something strongly feminine there and the sanziene legend on the walls, last night I dreamed in my mind about how could I use the two spaces the inside and the outside one / on my way home the cab driver told me that he used to work for the secret police during communism and told me about the way he used to file papers and all this sounded so familiar and in it's place, but a part of my brain was shouting “don't record other stories, you have enough stories from your museum visit, they really are enough, what are you going to do with all this stories?”

the weaving mill, inside mtr

I arrive on the terrace next to the weaving mil, I start writing, I have very little time, especially that I have some errands to do before our meeting at 6pm, it's now or never, I start writing, somebody enters the terrace / how are you, vera/ hi, i'm writing a bit / i'm thinking that if I have to spend time to make conversation now i'm going to break down/ the girl understands and leaves/ than I start to feel guilty – I was rude/ than I forget/ you have only a few hours left / the ideas from last night could work or not/ I will have to just adjust them while writing / i'm looking on the terrace, it will be something like this, i'm trying to imagene how the actors could use most of the space, and i'm somehow seeing them running through the terrace / what if there will be a fire too/ wish I would have had more time to find more rituals with the sanziene / I can see them performing the ritual / I can only write realistic stuff, so it's hard to just make them do it whit no reason/ the text is there now/ from 11 to 12 my pen on the paper/ a very very very first draft / I go to the library / I write it in the computer now / a lady turns to me/ I look with the same look , not too rude I hope / I go down to eat something/ I come back upstairs / read it again/ i've got to go / between 2pm and 3 pm there are all the other things I have to do, and the crisis situation I have to solve for the other project i'm working on / i'm going to scream/ I go outside / the sun appeared/ I look at the grass in the sun/ everything is so quiet and I feel like screaming / i'm not sure I like what I wrote/ I think it's stupid now/ I go back and I read it one more time/ make some changes/ I am lucky the team is really cool and the collaboration is truly constructive, so if the text is not clear I can just tell them about my ideas, and I will continue tomorrow with the second draft, i'm still thinking about the sanziene and my last night feelings when I sat in that armchair, that heavy air, full of erotism, electric.

vera ion and radu apostle, on the terrace at mtr

than I run for 3 more hours to solve stuff, than back in romana square, to my computer, I send the play.